Yes, we board game pieces are sensuous beasts. We like to be touched and handled as much as possible. We feel sorry for games like Chess or Go, where each piece is picked up and put down very quickly, where the playing board never varies. Our playing board changes every time our game is played. We are the Orange pieces.

It’s happening!

“We haven’t played that for ages! I thought it was still at my parents’ place,” a Player exclaims. As the box’s movement jostles us, we chant thanks to the game gods until dropped on a flat surface.

The box opens and Tiles, Cards and Pieces erupt onto the table. This time, White is unused and we, along with Blue, Red and Green, are piled next to each Player. Blues chatter witlessly, Greens hum in harmony and Reds utter expletives under their breath. We call insults to White as they get returned to the bag – Yer granny was a Monopoly boot! You ain’t good for nothing but Go!

All sensation depends on the whims of those beings: Players. Plopped in a palm or pinched between fingers, Pieces live to feel those soft finger pads fondle our wooden bodies. Players massage every hard side and angle with their fingers, releasing our ecstatic moans.

“Shut up, you hussies,” the Tiles shout. “Always thinking about your physical form! Why can’t you just sit in peace and stillness like us? You’re so emotional!” The Pieces blow derisive raspberries in response.

A Blue calls out, “I think she had tuna sandwiches for lunch! This must be what the ocean smells like! I’m swimming!” Soon all the Blues are babbling about fish, beaches and waves.

The Cards pipe up. “Stick with your own kind, why don’t you?”

“Don’t waste your time, Cards, the pieces have long been lost down that wanton path,” the Tiles sneer.

“Go get lost down the back of the sofa!” a Red retorts.

We envy Cards their constant contact with Players. How can Cards hate the players’ fingerprints on their shiny bodies? We revel in that oiliness and welcome spills of wine or fizzy drinks. Players lay the Tiles in a new pattern and play commences – dice roll across the table, Cards slap together and change hands. Nervous Players build pyramids until Pieces tumble, absent-minded ones gnaw on us until the game owner shoots him a look, and clumsy Players knock us onto the floor.

“Whee!” a Piece shrieks as it tumbles across the carpet. Then, “Oof,” and “Ooh, soft,” as it collides with a snoozing cat’s back.

Although we wish the game could continue forever, the winner is eventually announced. Packed into our box, sensations disappear, detested stillness and silence return.